Super Evil Bitch Lady May 29, 2008

I work as the billing person for a local chiropractor (the BEST CHIROPRACTOR EVER!). In addition to submitting insurance claims and billing people for their visits to the office, I also greet people as they enter the building.

Now, overall, I’m a nice person. That’s not to say that I don’t have a bit of snark running through my veins. I make crude jokes when amongst friends and sometimes, after a long day (or a day without chocolate), I can be a bit bitchy. But again, overall, I’m nice. And honestly, when I’m at work, I’m super fucking nice to all of the patients the good doctor adjusts.

Yesterday my coworker informed me that Super Evil Bitch Lady had scheduled an appointment for that afternoon. This woman is just vile. Wait. I should qualify that statement. Super Evil Bitch Lady is vile to people working the front desk of the office I work in. My friend and I are treated with the utmost content when this woman graces us with her presence. “Hi! Good afternoon” is greeted with a scowl and a snotty comment about the afternoon not being nice at all. A detailed answer to a question she asks is met with, “I didn’t ask for your life story, a yes or no will do.” When I tell her how much her office visit costs (which I do for every. other. patient. each time they come in), I get a disdainful, “Yes. I know, ” and an eyeroll to boot. She. Is. A. Bitch.

… that is, of course, until she gets on the adjusting table. She’s sweet as sugar to the good doc. She smiles and laughs and engages in pleasant conversation. For my coworker and myself, she won’t utter a civil “hello,” but to the doctor, well, lets just say I don’t think Super Evil Bitch Lady would have a problem with listening to her life story.

So really, what is it? Is it because I hold a lowly secretary-type position in the office? Is she bitter because I’m young and happy with life? Is she just a nasty, vile, Super Evil Bitch Lady? Yeah… I think the last one about sums it up.

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May 13, 2008

Here’s the email I sent to my good friend, thenakedredhead.

Red,
I miss our long email conversations. I think I’ve said that before.

Just because I know you’ll understand and empathize a bit, I really need to bitch about my family.

I just hate the lot of them (minus my grandpa… he’s wonderful).

My mother still makes passive aggressive comments about how I won’t come to her house. Listen lady, you smoke; your husband smokes; your house reeks of smoke. I am not brining my baby into that. Am. Not. I think it’s sad that she’s more concerned with us not being there for “special” dinners than she is about her grandson’s health. There’s a major disconnect. Smoking and second-hand smoke cause cancer, increase the risk of SIDS in children, can bring on a host of breathing problems… for other people, that is. For her, none of that is true. I’m just a stuck up bitch who doesn’t want to expose her child to GERMS. Germs! She actually thinks that I’m not bringing the baby there b/c there are germs in her house.

My father is still dating the 24-year-old whore of the valley. I’m waiting to see if he asks (read: tells me) he’s brining her to the baby’s birthday party on Saturday. She is not welcome. He’s not going to be happy. But anyway… how freaking dysfunctional is that? He is nearly 50 years old. He’s dating this broken girl and playing daddy to her. And somehow, no one sees this as being unhealthy and inappropriate. My sister thinks it’s “crummy” that I don’t want her at Baboo’s party. Speaking of..

I still just hate my sister. Even after trying to work things out with her, she is still the same. Nothing is her fault… what she says is best… I’m still a fuck-up for raising my son as I see fit. Breastfeeding is gross, foreskins are gross, only dumb people don’t vaccinate their children, blah, blah, blah. I can’t stand her. I get no joy out of her being in my life. I don’t think Baboo gains anything much either. Why do I even try?

My cousin and her family (husband and two little girls) aren’t coming to Baboo’s birthday party b/c her husband’s brother is in from Texas and his mother is having a birthday party for him. This guy has to be in his 40s at least, and I know he’s coming in from out of town, but my son’s party is from 1-3 in the afternoon. She can’t spare an hour for the kid’s first birthday? My aunt (my dad’s sister) also isn’t coming b/c “she has people coming in that day and doesn’t know what time they’re leaving. Plus, to commit to something that might not even happen wouldn’t be fair to anyone.” Huh? Yeah… apparently because the party is at a park and I said that if there are torrential downpours I would cancel or move the party to my house it means that it “might not even happen.” The truth is, I’ll be happier that the lot of them aren’t there, but I think the excuses are lame. L.A.M.E. This is the same group of people who bitch because I didn’t spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with them. Christ… they wonder why? Why in the world would I want to spend time with people who don’t act like my family rates at all?

And Red, I know you’re disgruntled with the modern-day church, but I have to say… I love my church community. I mean, yeah, there’s some dysfunction, but the majority of it is, “Oh, so-and-so brought white wine… I really wanted red wine with dinner.” I can deal with having the wrong color wine at dinner. The family stuff makes me want to move far, far away.

On that note… have I mentioned that the husband applied for a job in San Diego? He has a phone interview on the 25th (though he’s considering flying out there… he wants it that badly). There’s a good chance we’ll be moving. If that happens, I’ll get to leave all this family shit behind. Woo hoo for that.

Hope your day is going better than mine.

Love,
me

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March 21, 2008

I had a very pleasant day today.

Grumpy, Baboo and I started out our day at the local Jewish deli for breakfast. Today is the Jewish holiday of Purim, and my husband and I got to overhear the owner of the deli telling one of his patrons who had never heard of Purim that it was a celebratory holiday… like St. Patrick’s Day. Funny stuff.

After breakfast, the yogamommy family went out for a cup of coffee (okay,  two out of three of us had coffee.. the other one dined on milk). After finishing my cuppa, I left the husband to do some work and took the child home for a nap.

Tonight we dined with some of our best friends and celebrated (?) Maundy Thursday. We had great conversation and great food and finished the night with a lovely prayer service. After service the kids (not Baboo) started making a stained glass window out of tissue paper. We had to leave before it was finished because my sweet one was melting down, but I’m really looking forward to seeing the finished project at our Easter Vigil service on Saturday.

Tomorrow I have to try and clean, and on Saturday I *definitely* need to clean. The husband, baby, and I are hosting Easter dinner on Sunday, so I need to get the house in order. Plus, I need to cook.

Peace, peace, peace
yogamommy

March 11, 2008

The past month or so has been super hectic. There’s a lot of change happening in my life right now. Most of it is good, I’m happy to say.

Hubby and I *finally* got our house on the market. It took four months of wasting time, but after much cleaning, it’s listed. On March 16th we have an Open House scheduled. I’m really hoping we get a few offers (heck, just one good one would do).

I got a promotion/new job at work. The billing person in our office has given her notice because she needs to go back to work full time (the office I work at is only open MWF). I really didn’t expect it, but my boss offered me the billing job. I’m really excited about it. There’s a lot I need to learn, but I think I’ll be able to pick it up quickly. The increased salary is incentive enough.

On the down side of things, I’ve had to put my yoga classes on hold for a bit. Once the house gets sold, I’ll get back in the swing of things, but for now, all available cash must go towards necessities. I’m still practicing a little bit when time permits (and Baboo allows me), but I’ll be very excited when I get to start going to class again.

Baboo is doing really, really well. I’m going to post a 9 (and a half) month letter to him later today or tomorrow, so look for that update. (Again, does anyone read this thing?)

Peace, peace, peace
yogamommy

Eight-Month Letter January 28, 2008

Dear Baboo,

I should have started doing this a long time ago.

You recently turned 8 months old. In the matter of two or three days you learned how to sit yourself up and how to pull yourself to a standing position. A few days prior to the above listed events, you abandoned your military crawl for a traditional all fours crawl. You’ve gotten more daring over the past two weeks than I could ever have imagined an eight-month-old could be. Recently you’ve started having some separation anxiety, and though it makes it hard for me to use the bathroom while we’re home alone, there’s something heartwarming about you needing me for comfort and security the way that you do.

Although it seems like I’ll need to start putting you down to nap on your own during the days soon, I can’t really bear the thought. I love laying down with you… nursing you while you kick your feet into my belly, legs finally coming to rest over my mid-section as you drift off to sleep. I love it when you wake up slowly and smile because you see me close by. I love being able to anticipate your needs because I am right beside you, listening to you breathe.

These first eight months have been a true blessing. I love you.

Love,
Mama

New Teeth January 12, 2008

Baboo is cutting more teeth. He got his first two a few weeks prior to Christmas, and all has been quiet on the milky front until the beginning of this week. He started chewing on everything in sight and drooling buckets earlier this week, so Grumpy Bear (my sweet husband) and I expect that another tooth is on the way.

Overall, Baboo does really well with cutting teeth. He doesn’t get super fussy or irritable. I’ve noticed that he hasn’t been sleeping/napping as soundly as he usually does, and he has been nursing a ton lately, but those issues are easily dealt with: more frequent, but shorter naps and more down time with me, Yogamommy. I don’t mind either of these solutions.

I have yoga class in just over two hours. My body aches from my practices this week, but I’m looking forward to some ‘me’ time. After class, Doc, our instructor, Grumpy Bear, Baboo, and I are going out to lunch. There’s a chance that a friend of mine from my prenatal class is going to swing by with her daughter as well. After lunch… I’m hoping my Sweet Baboo will nap with me.

Peace, peace, peace,

Yogamommy

Beginnings January 10, 2008

I started going to yoga class when I was pregnant with my Sweet Baboo. A good friend of mine, a woman I fondly refer to as “Doc,” paid for my first class because I kept coming up with excuses not to go.

Yoga was great for me and great for baby. It was great having an hour and a half to myself every week. Work was boring for me, and thus, stressful. Being pregnant was great fun, but it takes a lot out of a girl. Yoga kept me by body in shape and kept my mind at peace.

After Baboo was born, I took some time off of yoga to heal and to bond with baby. After a few weeks, I was back at it. Now, at 7 and a half-ish months postpartum, I’m going to between 2 and 3 classes each week. My Tuesday and Saturday classes are with the same amazing women who taught my prenatal class.

Writing must be put on hold… life as a mom calls.